What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -20

you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Soccer...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

so a dyslexic man sold his soul to Santa

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops