why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops