What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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Your mom is so hairy that she must not feel comfortable in her everyday life.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops