What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Womens Rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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oooh look a banshee

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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