What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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Woman rights.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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BenWuzHear

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops