What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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wat?

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops