i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

5

whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

69

Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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