Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

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Leave her alone...

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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