Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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