Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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JFK

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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9/11

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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