Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

Knock knock. Who's there?

Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

Your mom walks into a bar.

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

A seal walks into a club.

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...