Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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68

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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