Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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Woman.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Matt is not funny.

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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