roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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Matt is not funny.

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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You smell like shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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