What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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What's clear and wet? water

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops