What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

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dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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hot diggity dog

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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