What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Homework.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

thumb_up thumb_down +9

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops