What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Jokes are funny.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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