Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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