Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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throbbing slobber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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