Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

What's the difference between a duck?

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

a jew walks out of a furnace

Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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