How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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a man was shot.... he died

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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