What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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