Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Animal

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Yo Mamma

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops