What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops