What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

thumb_up thumb_down -20

No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops