A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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