Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +70

what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops