I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

A man walks into a bar not a duck though

when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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