whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your sex life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Elizabeth Warren

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops