Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Your Mother

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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