Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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69

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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