What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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