Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops