what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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One time I masturbated by myself

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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