Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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No

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops