How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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potatoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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