What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops