A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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A white guy, a hispanic guy, and asian, a black guy, a philipiean guy, and a wait what am i doing?

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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im watching you..

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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