What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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so dont touch it.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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whos district champs not JM

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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luke moore cant pull it back

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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