Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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