What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Strawberry, to be specific.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink The bartenders says no, because she is a woman, and he is a sexist Women are still not equally treated in this world

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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