My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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potato farming

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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How do magnets work?

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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