Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Fuck her

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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