Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops