Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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