Wumbo

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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Jesus wept.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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