Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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Water? I hardly know her.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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