Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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