How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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View Terms of Service

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a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

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Poker face

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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