what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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